A BRIDGE TOO FAR

The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanumant, how diligently and strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge several centuries back. And they mistook the name of your forest living tribe to mean that you were all monkeys! It is remarkable that the bridge has withstood the ravages of the climatic and geographical changes over centuries. It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that a bridge over land at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed the other day even before they could stick the posters on its pillars."

Hanuman with all humility said, "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue now?"

Ram said, "Well, Hanumant, some people down there want to demolish the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves lots of money because lots of money will be made. Those filthy rich politicians pressing for this will make money on demolition and make more money on construction.”

Hanuman humbly bowed down and said "Why not we go down and present our case, Lord?"

Ram said, "Times have changed since we were down there, Anjanaya. They will ask us to submit age proof and we don't have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate. Or a ration card or voter's identity which is the most important document any Indian must own today. We had earlier traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock carts and so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the address proof is concerned the fact that I was born in Ayodhya is itself under litigation for over half a century. Some Leftist historians have even claimed that I was born in Teheran. If I go in traditional attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and, at the most, offer me a seat in civil engineering at IIT, Chennai under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot just walk in dressed in an Armani three-piece suit and announce his arrival. It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is a dilemma so to say."

"I can vouch for you by saying that I had personally built the bridge."

"My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate. Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in India nowadays. She has come a long way since her oral traditions. You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough. A pensioner may present himself personally but the bank authorities do not take it as proof. He has to produce a life-certificate to prove that he is still alive. It is that complicated."

"Lord I can't understand these historians. Valmiki who wrote your biography was your contemporary. Over the years you have given darshan once every hundred years to Surdas, Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana is a myth. The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth and set the government records straight once for all."

The Lord smiled, "It isn't that easy today, my dear Kesri Nandan. Ravana is apprehensive that he may look like a saint sitting next to Karunanidhi. I even spoke to his maternal uncle Mareecha, who had disguised himself as a golden deer to tempt Sita maiyya when I was away in the forest and he said that he was scared and won't take a chance of stepping on earth as long as those two trigger happy guys Salman Khan and Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi are freely moving around."